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A Really Hard Decision ...

Monday, May 6, 2013 |

One of the hardest decision I will ever makeWARNING: This post discusses female anatomy and reproductive health!


Have you ever been faced with a really hard decision? Perhaps one you thought was the hardest decision you will ever have to make? Well, I have recently been faced with an extremely tough decision. One that, at my age, I never thought I would have to make.


At the age of sixteen, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. For years, I have suffered from extremely painful and heavy menstrual cycles. After Brantley was born, I began to suffer even more. Heavier and even more painful cycles began to consume my life. So painful, I have days when I cannot even get out of bed, and so heavy that my cycle could last 9 days or more. Over-the-counter pain relievers do nothing for the pain, and I am left feeling as though there is no relief in sight. That was until recently...


After, an ultrasound, my doctor discovered I have a large Submucous Fibroid Tumor. While uterine fibroids are benign (non-cancerous), the news that followed left me shocked and dismayed. My first thought was, "Finally, I have answers." my second thought was, "What am I going to do?"


My doctor advised me that surgery to remove the fibroid was imminent and should be performed in the very near future, since the fibroid is very large in size. He gave me two options. This is where my hard decision lies. Both options have their risks.


Option 1: An out-patient procedure called MyoSure. This procedure is very simple with a quick recovery time. The risk: I could began to hemorrhage during the procedure, which would quickly turn into an emergency hysterectomy.


Option 2: A laparoscopic surgery in which an incision is made in the top of my uterus in order to remove the fibroid. The risk: The scar tissue in my uterus would make it very hard or even impossible to get pregnant, and if I did, the birth would require a cesarean section.


If you have been a reader for some time now, you know that Brian and I would love to have a least one more little to complete our family. That is why this decision is so hard for me to make. I love my children with all my heart and I am so very blessed to have 3 beautiful boys, but it breaks my heart that there is a very good possibility that I may no longer be capable of feeling a baby grow and kick, or labor in the love of welcoming a new member to our family. It's hard to think about. I never thought at my age that I would be faced with this kind of decision.


I know there are women out there that face these types of issues everyday. I know there are women out there who try to conceive and can't. I know there are many of you who might think I am being a little selfish. But for me this decision is hard. Hard to think about, and hard to make. So thank you everyone for letting "vent" a little!


Have you ever been faced with this situation? What did you decide? What was the outcome? I'd love to hear your story, so leave me a comment below.

16 Responses to “A Really Hard Decision ...”

  1. I also have endo, diagnosed in 2006; I had a laparoscopy that same year. I have had two children since (2009 and 2012). Both were c-sections, however, those were not related to the endo or the lap. Personally, I would go the lap route, and avoid the risk of the risk of the hysterectomy. At least with the lap you still have a chance of having more children, unlike the hysterectomy. However, I understand that every situation is different, and honestly, it's a choice that only you (and your husband) can make. But, I hope that my success of being able to have two children after my lap (and one after my first c-section) at least gives you some hope!

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  2. Oh man girl ... I am sorry. We just went through this with my sister. She definitely wants to have more kids too so it was a very hard decision. She has endemetriosis really bad too and they told her she would never be able to have kids in the first place. Thankfully she has Aiden already.
    Still ... she just had surgery two weeks ago and they were able to remove a ton of scar tissue and also her gallbladder which they found was a lot of the problem as well.
    Good luck with whichever decision you make. Hugs!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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  3. Shawn thanks so much for sharing! I am so glad you were blessed with two children even after going through a laparoscopy! I still haven't decided which route I will take ... knowing me I will probably wait until I am on the table to decide! My doctor recommends the MyoSure procedure because it is less invasive and the recovery time is a lot quicker since there is no incision. We shall see...

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  4. Thanks Lanaya! I hope that your sister is doing well, and that they could remove the problem! I am glad she has Aiden but pray that she will be able to have more! xoxo

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  5. Well i am def happy you have the reasons why, but it is a hard decision.
    Maybe adoption would be something you could consider?

    I know you will make the right decision. Here for you if you need a friend

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  6. Oh Jess, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It looks as if you have connections to some who have been through the same? Praying for you and that you come to the decision that is best for you. xo

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  7. I don't have the experience to offer any advice, but I have a big hug to offer from one mother to another. Sending you many warm thoughts while you try and reach the right decision for you.

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  8. Thank you so much Terri! Adoption is something we would definitely consider if it came down to it. xoxo

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  9. Yes, when my mother was 27, she had the same issue, unfortunately she ended up having a complete hysterectomy. :'( Thank you Monica for your kind words and keeping me in your prayers. xoxo

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  10. Thank you so much Rosey! xoxo

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  11. Jessica,

    My heart breaks for you. Both decisions seem hard and risky. I wish there was an easy answer and one that would provide you with the option to have another child if you chose to. I hope that your gut will instinctively tell you what is the best option for you. It usually does!

    Sending hugs and prayers.

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  12. Thank you Kerrie! I wish there was an easy answer too. xoxo

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  13. Thinking of you and sending lots of love your way xxx

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  14. Hi Jessica,

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. No I have never had to face a decision like this. It did take us awhile to conceive our first born and I thought it would never happen, but it became a blessed surprise. I don't know how I would handle knowing I couldn't conceive again. I'm sure I'd just count my blessings, but that is easier said than done. I wish you the best of luck and reassurance and peace in whatever decision you make. (Hugs)

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  15. P.S. I also failed to mention that in whichever procedure you choose, I wish you a speedy recovery and all the support you need to go with that. Hang in there!!

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  16. Thank you so much Kirsty! xoxo

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