Boys Oh Boys Demo

I'm Jen from Boogies N Boo-Boos and I'm super excited to be guest blogging on Boys Oh Boys today!!  I love Jessica's blog so this is a huge honor for me.   I hope you enjoy it.

I saw a blog post a few days ago titled “10 Things You Should Never Say to a Mom of a Big Family”.  It made me laugh because a friend of mine has 7 kids...yep, SEVEN! I don’t know how she does it and I will admit that I am guilty of asking her a few of the stupid and off-limit questions such as, “Are you done?”   How can you help but ask these questions when it’s difficult enough raising 2 or 3? My aunt had 10 kids and I always wondered how they made trips in the car work or how much their grocery bill cost them each month.

This made me think about the ridiculous questions that any mom hates being asked.  I know I have been asked some pretty idiotic things in the past.  I try and limit the amount of blog posts I do with lists but sometimes I just can’t help myself; these are the same kinds of posts that I also gravitate towards reading, as well.   Here are some of the questions I get annoyed being asked as a mother of four.

1. “You look tired” – Ummm… F You! You would look tired too if you were running on 5 hours of completely interrupted sleep every night for the last 3 years!

2. “Are they all yours?” – Seriously?  Do you think I want to drive around town with someone else’s little brats?  Not happening!  Yes, I am responsible for creating each of the children turning this place upside down.

3. “Do you work?” – First of all, it’s none of your business.  Secondly, yes, jackass! Contrary to what you may think, staying home with kids is the toughest job there is.  My job description consists of nurturing, lactating, cleaning, diaper changing, schedule coordinating, cooking, laundering, teaching, stopping dog from knocking over toddlers. Skills gained in multi-tasking, working one handed and foreseeing meltdowns.  Exceptional work in the areas of creating, birthing, and feeding a human.  And most importantly, I love unconditionally.  So yes, A-hole, I work harder in 1 day than your ass will ever work! (Job description courtesy of Mama Goose from News From The Gaggle)

4. “My kid will never eat Chicken McNuggets” - This is when I fall on the floor from laughing so hard it hurts.  Oh, naive one, you will feed your bratty kid whatever you have to just to get them out of your hair.   Do you know why they call them Happy Meals?  It's because they make parents happy!   Let’s talk after you find someone that wants to knock you up.

5. “You look like such a mom”- GRRRR   This is the mother of backhanded compliments which in my opinion deserves a backhanded slap across the face.  On one hand, it’s nice to know that I look like a loving, maternal figure that you would trust your own children with but deep down we know damn well that what they wanted to say was, “sweet mom jeans”.  Okay, maybe I took it too far with the mom jeans but my everyday wardrobe of yoga pants and a Wal-Mart t-shirt are like my uniform. When you are getting puked on, pooped on and spit on constantly you learn real fast that “looking cute” every day is a thing of the past.

6. “If that were my kid, I’d ____” – I have a look that I give for this one.  The look reads, “you better back the F up before I take off my earrings and put my hair up in a ponytail because it’s about to get real ugly up in here!”  They usually walk away.

7. “Does he/she always act like that?”-  WTF?  Are you kidding me?  Yes, I am training her for the world record for the loudest, most annoying scream while having a temper tantrum and embarrassing me in public.  This is fun for me.  Thanks so much for making me feel a lot better about my 2 year old acting her age.  (See #6)

8. “How could you put your kid on a leash?” – Guilty of thinking this too.  Here’s the answer: no matter how many times you threaten our kids every time they attempt to run off it doesn't always work. Sometimes you are given a Runner. I have a runner.  She thinks it a game.  I yell, I punish, I've even spanked.  Her reaction… laughter.  This is when you buy the leash because frankly, I don’t have the time or patience to deal with that crap every time we have to go someplace that doesn't allow me to use a stroller.

Lesson here:

Watch what you say to moms or dads because Karma is a Bitch!

Bio: Jen Ragan is a sahm of 2 toddler girls and 2 teenagers (boy and girl).  She is quickly losing her mind at the age of 37 due to countless poopy diapers, talks about teen sex and a new puppy to add to the list of living things needing to be potty trained.  Her blog consists of parenting stories and advice with none of the sugarcoating you usually find.  If you're looking for someone to tell you what real parenting is like while making you laugh at the same time then visit Boogies N Boo-Boos.